Tidus wakes up submerged in water (get used to that, Tidus spends more time in Water than most amphibians), and sets out to explore this crazy place he's stumbled into. It's here while exploring that I find an Al-bhed primer, so it's a safe place to segue into the whole Al-bhed language thing.
I understand what they were going for with this. I really do. It's interesting and makes the Al-Bhed seem all the more strange and alien when we first encounter them. Plus, it gives completionists another mind-boggling side quest to complete. Luckily when you start a new game, you can chose to compile all the Al-Bhed primers you've found in previous games, those making it easier to understand them. And I had already finished save on the memory card, so I'm bound to have a good chunk of Al-Bhed, right?
Nope, seems I have like B, H, Y, and I think J. Wow. Even with a save game where I won I can't speak this damn language. Awesome.
Anyways, Tidus fights some fish and then runs off into a cave after the immortal wisdom of Qui-Gon Jinn comes to haunt him. Yep, a bigger fish. And this one has like a crzay skeletal rib cage thing going on.
So, now Tidus is in some ruins where he builds a fire with the most colorful pieces of flint I have ever seen, and reflects on how much his dad sucks for making fun of him. I don't blame Jecht, cause between us, Tidus is a bit of a pussy so far.
But Tidus's idle musings are cut short by a giant lizard, and just as it attacks, one of the walls explodes inward and a group wielding guns and wearing the most colorful latex fetish suits known to man burst in. The female (armed only with a dagger/claw thing it seems) walks up and joins Tidus, while the guys with the guns, STAND THERE AND WATCH!! Hey, jerk-faces, I know that English isn't your first language, so Fro tuh'd oui kad uvv ouin yccac yht cruud drec mewynt, lulgmotodac!
Anyways, turns out the hot chick has some grenades on her, and the Steal Command. Cool, Thief was always one of my favorite FF classes. The two beat the lizard and then the BDSM club argue about Tidus. The girl seems to stop the arguement and then knocks Tidus out in one punch!
Okay, Tidus, you suck. No, Seriously. If this can knock you out in a single punch to the gut,
then you need to do some serious leveling in badass before I can take you seriously.So Tidus wakes up on a strange boat and the Al-Bhed tell him to make himself useful, thanks to Goggle Girl's sudden ability to speak English. They want him to help with their underwater salvage operation. That's right, more water! I've been playing for about an hour now, and not counting the 15 minute cutscene of Sin destroying Zanarkand, I've been in or under water for about 30 minutes. I'm amazed that Square didn't release Final Fantasy Swimwear with this thing, given how much the characters are in the water.
Al-Bhed Chick gives you a run through on this games leveling system the Sphere Grid and then down we go! Another pointless fish fight and Tidus bangs on some screens and powers up an underwater base, revealing well, it looks like a failed pottery project, but the Al-Bhed swear it's an airship. And I know this because it's the only damn word they say that I can understand.
Tidus tells Rikku (who FINALLY introduces herself, not the Tidus tells her his name), his backstory and she concludes that since Zanarkand was destroyed a thousand years ago, he must have been mentally effected by being close to Sin.
So, it's an unspeakable immortal horror with Non-Euclidean geometry that teleported me into the future AND causes SAN loss? When did I start playing Call of Cthulu?
Well, speak of the devil and all, Sin arrives and knocks the boat around, sending Tidus overboard. God, this guy falls off things more easily than Lois Lane. The game again asks if I want to save. Okay game, I get that you just want to make sure I don't get killed and lose an hour of play, but you're also giving me a chance to put sown the controller and do something more productive. God, I hate this game.
Tidus comes to, submerged in water (I'm guessing this is a theme with him) and here we are introduced to the most rediculous looking character in all of Final Fantasy, Wakka. Wakka is the Captain and Coach of the Besaid Aurochs (and with his accent I keep hearing Bayside and waiting for Zach and Screech to show up) and well, I think the Nomura art speaks for itself on this:
What the hell is up with his hair? And with that weird cup thing on his shoulder wouldn't it be hard to swim? And seriously, your weapon is a Blitzball? Okay, there are a handful of people that can get away with ordinary objects as weapons. Mostly because they're masters of Prop Fu, but Wakka...
And if you're gonna spend so much time in the water, wouldn't you want less layers rather than more? Last I checked, layer upon layer of Fabric gets kinda heavy and cumbersome when wet.
Anyways, Tidus impresses Wakka with his l33t bl1tz sk1llz and Wakka takes him to the village of Besaid to get some food. Tidus asks Wakka about Zanarkand to double check if Rikku was lying to him. Turns out Wakka is convinced that Sin's thousand year reign of terror is because people used machines to make their life easier.
Is this one of those Japan commenting on Technology things? Cause I get enough of that in Metal Gear Solid, thanks.
The boys get to the village after some random encounters and Wakka suggests that you introduce yourself to the Summoner at the temple. Given that Tidus seems to not have clue one about what's going on, I can't wait to see what happens when he pisses all over their religion. I smell comedy!!
I hate this game...
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