Dr. Cid vs. Final Fantasy X Part 4

Welcome to 20 Sided Tardis, where our opinions are bigger on the inside.

Dr. Cid here, I'm gonna post this today, instead of my usual Monday update because I have an exam I have to study for. Anyways, it's time to dive right back into Final Fantasy X.

So, after Wakka rescues Aquaman from the big bad ocean, they fight another smaller boss monster and head to Kilika. Turns out the peaceful village of Kilika was wiped out by Sin, and now they're asking Yuna (in her role as Summoner) to send the spirits of the dead to the Farplane, so they won't become fiends.

So, the monsters that I've been beating up are...people? Okay, that's a new twist, and I kinda like it. I also, like Yuna acting as a priest, something that most adventuring White Mages and Clerics don't have to deal with a lot. And my own feelings toward organized religion aside, I like seeing these kinds of things. DMs, GMs and Storytellers take note: Sometimes being a Cleric means more than casting Cure Light Wounds and using Healing Word.

So, we get treated to what I feel is the MONEY SHOT FMV of the game. Yeah, there's some cool ones involving a Wedding and some underwater make-outs later, but this one is probably my favorite one of the game, and easily the most iconic of the universe they're setting up. The sending. You know what, I'm gonna let the cutscene speak for itself on this.



Now that you all know my pain on the voice acting in this thing...

Afterward, the crew heads up to the Kilika temple, and go through the Cloister of Trials to get Yuna her next Aeon, and we fight a Sin Spawn. Apparently, Sin (ever the fun guy), leaves bits of itself behind and if people don't kill them fast enough, he comes back and causes damage AGAIN! What a great world these people live in.

So, the village safe again, we head back to the boat (cue T-pain) and head off to Luca, where Yuna is certain someone'll recognize the time-lost Tidus.

You know, I cannot begin to describe how stupid this plan is.

"So, yeah, I'm from Troy."

"Like Troy, went to war with Greece over Helen, Troy?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"And you played Football there?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so despite Troy being wiped off the map a thousand years ago, we're gonna take you to the Superbowl to see if anyone knows who you are."

Riiiight, this plan is right up there with "Get her!" This is why Ray doesn't make the plans, guys. So, Tidus begins going through his head what an amazing Blitzer his dad was, and Yuna keeps making googley eyes at Tidus, wanting him to be one of her bajillion guardians. Apparently, Jecht and Auron were her Dad's guardians, so I guess she's hoping bad ass runs in the family. No such luck here, sister.

So, Tidus battles some of his demons and unlocks the secrets of the Jecht Shot (a blitzball technique that's apparently bad ass).





The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III. So Badassed, you're sexually aroused just seeing it.



Go him. Also, there's some stuff going on between Lulu and Wakka, most of it involving Wakka's brother Chappu.

God, who came up with these names?

So, we get to Luca and proceed to get the usual scenes of various dignitaries arriving at the festivities. Including...Seymour Guado.

Let me start off by saying this. Wakka, I'm sorry. When I called you "the most ridiculous looking character in all of Final Fantasy". Honestly, where do I begin with Seymour...




First off, that hair alone is not only the stuff of nightmares, but also the reason that 90% of Final Fantasy Cosplayers get made fun of on the internet. Somedays I'm convinced that Nomura is sitting at his drawing table, laughing at stupid cosplayers while adding more physics defying clothes and stupid hair.

Know what, the character designs in this game are just stupid in general. Let's just move on.

So, Tidus picks a fight with the local champion Blitzball team, the Luca Goers (no, seriously, who comes up with these names?!), and ends up on the Spira equivalent to the TV. Wakka gets Tidus under control and in the locker room, we go over the Blitzball Tutorials. Which are painful. Luckily Yuna arrives to save me (wow, those were words I never thought I'd type) telling me Auron is somewhere in Luca. Fuck yes! To hell with Wakka and his blitz game, I'm gonna find Auron and we're gonna go on badass adventures. Like so:






Yuna and Tidus have a scene that I'm sure'll come up later, hence me bringing it up. Afriad of getting separated, Tidus tries teaching Yuna to whistle, (apparently Whistling is also derived from Blitzball, did you know that?!), and explains that if they get separated, all she has to do is whistle and he'll come running.

Well, we get to the bar where someone saw Yuna and some Ronzo start picking a fight with Kimahri. I totally forgot he was even there. Well, Kimahri responds by punching a Ronso in the face so hard it knocks him out in one shot! Hell yeah, he may not talk much, but don't fuck with the furry, cause he will KICK YOUR ASS!!!

Well, while we're distracted with Kimahri finally doing something cool, Yuna was kidnapped by the Al-Bhed, who want the Aurochs to throw the Blitzball tournament, or they'll hurt Yuna. Since Wakka is busy playing, looks like it's up to Tidus, Scooby and Lulu to save the white mage.

So the three of us battle some machine robot things (which Lulu tells me are weak to lightning...as if I didn't know that already), and we proceed to the boat that the Al-Bhed hold our captive Summoner...who apparently freed herself and was in the process of escaping when we go there.

And at this point, I think I may be in love with Yuna. She's kind, she's sweet, cares for others...and when she gets captured, she'll crack skulls instead of waiting for me to do all the damn work. Sorry, Zelda, your knights in another castle.

Tidus inspects the ship, hoping that maybe these Al-Bhed are the ones who rescued him earlier in the game, but they're not. He also finds out that Yuna is Al-Bhed on her mother's side and is told not to tell Wakka.

So, The Aurochs win the first round of the Tournament, and Wakka seems beat. See, this whole rescue was inter cut with scenes of the match, and includes a bit of dialogue between Lulu and Tidus that is HILARIOUS out of context.

Tidus: Hey, Wakka's still in there!
Lulu: Chappu would still be standing after all that.
Tidus: Ouch.

So, the gang rejoin and Tidus goes in to the Blitzball match, and I have to say...I HATE this mini-game. Like I hate it more than I hate just about anything else.

See, I grew up with a brother, which means I've got plenty of Sports Video Games under my belt. So, the fact that the players move themselves, you don't control ANYTHING on Defense, and you can only pass and/or shoot whenever the game decides you can is RIDICULOUS. I've played FFX three times. And each time, I've had a different experience with this tournament. The first time was a close match, with me losing 2-3. The second time was a ridiculous affair where I won like 8-0, and this time through, I got into a place where I could shoot the ball twice. Neither went in.

Honestly, this is probably one of the biggest failings of FFX. The players move on a 2D field, when 3D would've been cooler and still within the systems limitations. I'm sorry, but when the Harry Potter Quidditch game on the GAMECUBE is more fun and a better made sports game than this, there's problems.




Seriously, this shouldn't be better than THIS:




















And I know, it's a MINI-game. It's supposed to be a side-thing. I get that. But at the same time, clearly it's the defining event in this world. Yuna even all but says that Blitzball is the only sport/hobby/recreational event in all of Spira (which is really fucking weird, but whatever). You'd think it be a better crafted min-game for clearly being that important to the game world.

God I hate this game. Thankfully, it asks me if I want to save, and I take this moment to end my misery, if only for a while.

Confronting the refrigerator

Long time no see. Sorry this second post took so long, I got hit pretty hard by work as well as a bad case of the fuckits, but I'm back with another overly opinionated post for your reading pleasure.

As the good Dr already mentioned this little rant is about one of the more controversial topics in comic book fandom, the so called Women in Refrigerators Syndrome.

Coined by Author Gail Simone on her site of the same name the syndrome refers to the negative treatment of female characters in super hero comic books ranging from abuse to rape to murder; and is named after what its sadly still one of the defining moments of Kyle Rayner the fifth Green Lantern ; the gruesome murder of his girlfriend Alex by government psycho for hire Major Force.

Naturally once the site gained notoriety among fans and authors the treatment of women in comics became a hot button issue. How were comics supposed to grow their reader base if female readers saw female characters treated in such a way.

Of course its not like it really changed much, the original letter by Simone that lead to the site is now over a decade old and thus predates the horror that is Identity Crisis.

There are, however, two major problems with the idea of the Women in Refrigerators Syndrome that make it somewhat weaker as a rallying cry to change the industry.

The first is the double standard intrinsic in its very nature. Yes, terrible things happen to female characters in comic books and its often done for shock value. But it happens just as frequently to males, if not more frequently considering the higher percentage of male characters.

Take for example Jason Todd, the second Robin and one of the most famous deaths in comics. Lured to a foreign country by the mother that abandoned him, beaten to near to death by a cackling Joker and then exploded the rest of the way all to get at Batman.

Another example is Terry Berg, another character from Kyle Rayner's time as the only Green Lantern. Terry was Kyles assistant, he was also gay. One night some homophobes found Terry coming out of a club and beat him so brutally that it drove Kyle to leave the planet in disgust at humanity.

Or perhaps we should look at Kyle himself, since this all started with him. In the past few years alone Kyle has been relegated to a supporting role (one of the things that can land someone on Simone's list) in favor of Hal ¨Captain Cardboard¨ Jordan, possessed by the same entity that (retroactively) possessed Jordan to make Hal look better by comparison, and then killed. He got better from the last part, but so do most comic book deaths so it still counts.

But, some may say, these events are terrible to be sure, but at least the male characters don't have to deal with the worst bit of thing to come out of modern comics; rape as character development. And to that I say, WROOONG!

Just look at the Bat Family once again. In the past few years both Dick Grayson, the first Robin/Nightwing/now Batman, and Bruce ¨The God Damn Batman¨ Wayne himself were drugged and raped by female villains and Bruces rape even produced a child (they retconned that during the night Bruce spent with Talia Al´Ghul she drugged him before the hit the sack together).

Terrible things happen to comic book characters, male or female, but there is no out cry when it happens to the men. Oh sure fans of the character may bitch or call ¨shitty retcon¨ but there is no website for it, no one is accused of sexism for it. Hell, Judd Winick, the creator of Terry Berg, won awards for having a gay guy beaten to a pulp in his comic! Yeah it was from GLAAD for his treatment of the subject... but the point still stands.

Alright this post is getting long enough as it is, so I think it´s time to end it. I´ll be back to confront the second major problem with Women in Refrigerators next week, Same Dork Time, Same Dork Channel.

Green Lantern Part 1

Welcome to 20 Sided Tardis, where are opinions are bigger on the Inside.

Okay, so we all know that the staff here at the Tardis are a bunch of unrepentant comic book nerds. Between the comic book and comic book inspired card game I'm creating, and The Ed's GIANT WALL OF TEXT telling you what trades you should be reading, you can guess that we're at least somewhat up on our comic book lore.

So, The Ed and I discussed a few ideas for upcoming blogs, and he and I decided we were going to express our views on something that is near and dear to our hearts. Women in Refrigerators.

So, I thought I would do The Ed a favor and bring you guys up to speed on Green Lantern (as a set-up to The Ed's article).



Green Lantern was created WAAAAAAAAAAAYY back in the day by Bill Finger and Martin Nodell during the Golden Age of Comics. The first man to bear the title of the Green Lantern was Alan Scott. Alan was an engineer who found a magic ring that could create anything he imagined, but had a weakness to wood. (I don't know, it's a thing). Now, Alan's a cool old dude these days, serving as the Obi-Wan to the youngsters in the JSA. But, since he's not the familiar Green Lantern, I'm gonna jump ahead to them.

In the late 50's, early 60's, DC Comics began revamping their older heroes with a more Science Fiction tone. The Flash was the first character to recieve such a revamp. Flash's success lead editor Julius Schwartz (ARCHITECH OF THE SILVER AGE!) to commission other revamps. One of them was Green Lantern.



Gone was engineer Alan Scott and his magic ring, replaced by Test Pilot Hal Jordan and his alien tech ring. Jordan was but one member of the galaxy spanning Green Lantern Corps, a group of intergalactic policemen. His ring could create constructs, same as Scott's, but Hal's ring had a weakness over the color yellow (I cannot make this up).

And things progressed like this for around 30 years. Yeah, sales would drop on Green Lantern, and they'd shake things up by removing him for a bit (leading to two of my favorite Green Lanterns, Guy Gardner and John Stewart...the one from Justice League, not the one from the Daily Show), but for the most part, Hal stuck around. Hal Jordan WAS Green Lantern, just like Bruce Wayne was Batman and Clark Kent was Superman.

Anyways, back in the mid-90s, sales on Green Lantern were crap. We're talking lowest point ever kinda crap. Hal Jordan was...eh fuck it, IS a boring character. (When the guy responsible for "returning you to glory" can only define you by being fearless, you're boring. Being completely without fear is dumb. Fear is one of those emotions that ties everyone together. We're all afraid of something. Get some real characterization, Jordan!)

Anyways, so, Hal's boring, the Dark Age of Comics are in full swing, and since the major shake-ups at Superman and Batman worked SO STUPIDLY WELL, DC Comics decided that they were gonna do the same thing for Hal.

Kinda. I guess they got bit by the "THIS ISSUE EVERYTHING CHANGES!!" bug, but they instead, had Hal Jordan, grief stricken over his failure to protect his hometown from being destroyed (which happened in a damn SUPERMAN book!)tried to use his ring to resurrect Coast City.



The Guardians (the dudes in charge of the Corps) told Jordan to report to Oa (GL HQ) for disciplinary action. Jordan snapped. He went on a killing spree, determined to get all the Green Lantern power and make himself a god. And...he actually succeeded. He killed the Green Lantern Corps, his arch-nemesis, all but one of the Guardians, and absorbed the Central Power Battery. All in all, not Hal's most heroic day, but if you have to kick off your career as a villain, WOW! What a note to start on!




The last surviving Guardian, creates a new ring and passes it on (without instructions) to Kyle Rayner, struggling Freelance Graphic Artist.



Now, I was 11 when I started reading Green Lantern, and I had started right as Hal had gone off the deep end. When I say that everything I learned from Green Lantern, I learned as Kyle Rayner did, I mean it. Kyle is and always shall be my Green Lantern. I don't care what DC Comics says and/or does.

This became one of the most controversial decisions in comics at the time. And this is when LIEFELD was popular! So, that should say something about the fan outcry.

So, Kyle is the ONLY Green Lantern, and pretty much has to learn by doing. Luckily, his down to earth girlfriend, Alex DeWitt is there to help him figure this stuff out. He gets a team-up with Mullet! Superman within like 2 issues of his debut, and then boom! Alex is killed by Z-List Villain Major Force and stuffed into a Refrigerator.

Now, imagine being 12 years old when this happens. This messed me up for a good long while. And apparently, as The Ed will go into, I wasn't the only one. What kills me is that reading Major Force's Wikipedia Entry, THIS is his big claim to fame. He's the guy who killed Green Lantern's girlfriend and stuffed her into the fridge. THAT'S IT. And really, that's sad.

So, Kyle moves to New York, joins the Titans, dates Donna Troy (who as far as I'm concerned is the only woman for Kyle), and starts growing into his role as a hero, even going so far as to join the Justice League.

So, Kyle's a great guy, and he's coming into his own as a character and developing a fan base. Problem is...what Hal's been up to all this time...and for Hal Jordan fans it wasn't pretty...



But at least his costume is badass...

Game Thesis Part 3: Villains

Welcome to 20-Sided Tardis, where our opinions are bigger on the Inside. Dr. Cid here, and its time once again for Game Thesis!

Okay, so, we have the 8 Heroes that the players can choose from (although, I may add more, just for additional variety). Now, though, we’re gonna talk about what makes every Hero great. The Villains!

Originally in the game, we had 4 Villain characters, and the Villains operated just like their Heroic counterparts. For turning this into an adventure game, I’m thinking that going back to the drawing board is the best option.

Now, I’ll admit that my board gaming experience as of late has been completely influenced by the after D&D board game sessions we rock. So, if it sounds like I’m using other games as an inspiration…well, I am a bit. The trick’ll be doing it differently enough that it feels fresh.

So, I have four villains, one of whom is more of an Anti-Hero than full villain. So, he’s out. Maybe I’ll add him if I increase the hero count. But in the rewrite of Tiger Knight I’m adding Villain/Love Interest Dr. Dynamo, so that puts me back up at 4. I’ll make up some bad guys, maybe a loving homage to Jack Kirby creation and legendary Villain Darkseid…

So, after some time at a sketchbook, here’s the Villain Cast:

Quinlann Sebboh, Solnari Warlord
Gravitation, Architect of the Revolution
Igneous, Genetically Altered CEO
Dr. Dynamo, Legacy of a Mad Scientist
Hellhawk, Embodiment of the Dark Age
Omega, Omnicidal Maniac
Tyrannor, Alien Conqueror
G.O.D.L.E.S.S., Guild of Destruction, Larceny, Evil, Spite and Savagery.

I’m not necessarily happy with the last one, but I wanted an Injustice Gang/Legion of Doom kinda thing, and most of the good names are taken.

So, now that we have some villains, how do they work? Here’s how, at least here’s what I’m thinking.

The Villain cards are over-sized Dual Sided Cards. (I love using both sides of a card!) One Side is the Planning Phase, the other is the Active Phase.

During the Villain’s Planning Phase, the Villain’s not technically in Play. They’re moving pieces around the chessboard, setting up things, and generally being a vague nuisance to the Heroes. The Planning Stage indicates when the Villain goes into the Active Phase. There are going to be two ways to do this usually, the Heroes are being Awesome, or the Heroes are not being awesome.

During the Active Phase, the Villain finally enters play, and has the powers listed on this side of the card. Also listed will be the way to defeat said Villain. Most of the villains will most likely be defeated through combat, but I can foresee some of them having alternate win conditions.

Now, the big question is: Do we have a player control the villain, and all the minions and things, making it one player vs. the rest (which a few games do), have no one control the bad guys, so they need rules on how they move, who they attack, etc. on them (like Arkham Horror), or have it rotate every turn, so that each player takes turns being the bad guys? I wanna hear your input on this, so comment away!


Next on the Agenda: Civilians, Plot Points, and how they relate to each other!

...grows the beard.

Welcome to 20-Sided Tardis, where our opinions are bigger on the Inside. Dr. Cid here, and I have to announce that we're making some changes here in the blog. First off, new logo. Now we look all swanky. Next, the subjects are going away from the "...does the thing" format and to something that'll make it easier to find an old post later. Also, I'm going to adopt an update schedule. I,personally will be updating every Monday. I dunno when my fellow bloggers here are going to be updating,but Mondays are mine! So, hang on tight, dear companions, its time once again for Game Thesis!



Last time, I went into my own personal history, as well as the primary goal of these segments. We’re gonna convert my still-in-development CCG into an Adventure Board Game. Now, I suppose that we need to start at the very beginning of it all, the characters that the Players will be playing as.

In the CCG, there were 8 Playable Main Characters, 4 Heroic and 4 Villainous. As a board game, I prefer the more co-operative antics of Arkham Horror over the dicking each other over-ness of the Order of the Stick Adventure Game. So, first thing we need to do is remove the Villains for now.(Don’t worry, we’ll come back to them in a later entry.)

So, that leaves Max Taylor (our eponymous Hero), Kate McCoy (His Best Friend/Love Interest), Shifter Kinkaid (His Rival for Kate’s affections, and another Major Hero in Castlefalls), and Natalie Hart (a 3rd Generation Super-Hero/High School Queen Bee).

Now, since the last iteration of the CCG, the characters of Max and Kate got replaced by Courtney Taylor, who takes over Main Character status of the book. So, we’re down to 3 Heroes. This isn’t looking to be as easy as I thought.

Luckily enough, a couple of buddies of mine were also writing comics that take place in this same universe. A couple of quick text messages later, and I can bump up the character count to 8 Heroes. Badass.

So, our cast now looks like:

Courtney Taylor/Tiger Knight
Shifter Kinkaid/Justice
Natalie Hart/Saffire
Tom Turner/Claymore
Gwen McDermont/Firefly
Chloe Franklin/Ultra Girl
Jordan Jones/Knock
Matthew Cole/Photon

Okay, so that’s the cast. A bunch of meaning less names at the moment. I would give you context, but the names aren’t really important at the moment (and we’ll get into each of them at a later point anyway).




Originally in the card game, your Main Character was identified by a Persona card, and Dual-Sided Character cards leveled 1-3. The Persona card represented the core of the character and it’s game text was active on all versions of that character in addition to whatever game text was on the character cards.

The dual sided character cards had the Hero Identity on One Side and the Civilian on the other, and at the start of the turn, you chose what identity was active (there were cards to allow you to switch your decision mid-turn).

So, far, I don’t see a reason to change these mechanics. Make the Persona card bigger (like those Over-sized Hero Cards that WoW TCG gives out), and add a Health tracker to it.

Health in the CCG was done with damage counters on each card, and I was never a big fan of it. It got cumbersome, especially if you had any additional counters. So, health tracker on your Persona card.

Now, the characters were Level 1-3, so that they could grow and change over the course of the game, developing new powers and whatnot. I’d like to keep this, but that’ll be determined on if I have an experience generating mechanic I like.

Okay, so we have our core characters, we know that they’ve got a Persona card that has game text on it, and a character card that is dual sided. Next time, dear companions, we’ll start working on the villains.

...goes to the drawing board.

Welcome to 20-Sided Tardis, where are Opinions are bigger on the inside. Sorry about the rash of time between updates, but between the New Year Holiday and the snowstorm making me want to spend all my time in bed, I haven't felt like updating.

Again, I apologize. Also, I'd like to be the first to wish our readers a Happy New Year! Now, onto the meat of today's post.

I'm introducing a new segment today, which I am hereby titling "Game Thesis". So, break out those card sleeves and warm up those 20 siders, and let's jump right into Game Thesis!

Now, I have to do some obligatory background exposition, and for that I'm sorry.

I love CCGs (collectable card games for those of you who aren't card chuckers...or customizable card games if you're a Decipher nut like I am), and have been playing them since Magic came out. In fact, I've played MOST CCGs that have been out, (minusing some of the ridiculous licenses like Austin Powers). But the one I fell most ass over shoulders in love with was Decipher's Star Wars CCG.

Now, this comes as no surprise to some of you that I am a huge Star Wars nerd, so this CCG was like that magical combination of chocolate and peanut butter to me. The game was in depth, required strategy, had many, many different ways to play, and was an artistically great interpetation of the Star Wars universe in Card Game form, and the templates these cards are on has set the bar for me (artistically) on what a card could look like. (Although Honorable Mention goes to the Star Trek CCG's Second Edition)























That's not to say that the game didn't have problems, because it did. In the rules, they stated that the average game lasts 45 minutes, but I have YET to play a game that fast. Usually games would last 2-3 hours and then my brother and I would declare "Final Battle!!!" move all our characters to the same location and have one last winner take all fight.

Ah. good times.

Also the with the strategy being as complex as it was, that lead to one of the most confusing games to explain to new comers. Decipher ended up releasing TWO more Star Wars themed games (both with lower complexity) in order to try to lower what I like to refer to as the "New Player Threshold."

The New Player Threshold is the point as which the new player goes "Oh, okay, so if I do this, this and this, that happens." Basically when you have to stop explaining everything to them. Magic, despite having 9,000,000 keywords (words that have rules attached to them used to save space), has a fairly low "NPT." Star Wars didn't.

The game lasted until Episode II came out. Then Lucasfilm went with powerhouse Wizards of the Coast, who made a mediocre Card Game. During that time, I played the excellent if undermarketed Buffy CCG, the Wonderful Lord of the Rings CCG, and Magi-Nation, the best game that nobody played.

And during this dark age of CCGs for me, I discovered that something was missing. And I couldn't put my finger on it. And then, my Dad, smart guy that he is, told me "If you want something done right, do it yourself."

Okay, Dad might not have been talking about my specific situation, but like an episode of House, a light went on and I started designing my own CCG.

And behold I did. And it was...okay.








It was based on the fictionalized exploits of me and my brother and our fighting. It was the CCG equivalent of a the first Fanfic someone writes. Full of self-insert Mary Sues. But mechanically it was sound. It got through a few playtest games before I decided to merge it with my comic book. Try to create something a little more marketable and solid.









































What a difference Art School and a few years make on the design and art of the game, huh?

And that concludes the the history section, onto the mission and what you can look forward to in future Game Thesis segments.

The CCG market isn't what it used to be. At all. The games are drying up, and if a game doesn't have a built in marketable license, or is Magic, it's dying a quick painless death.

But "adventure games" (board games with more rules, cards and usually played in about 3 hours) are popular enough, and can provide enough story elements to satisfy my need to have my game be about more than just punching the other guy. So, tune in next time, dear companions as we set about converting a CCG with almost of decade of work behind it into an Adventure Game!