Dr. Cid vs. Final Fantasy X Part 4

Welcome to 20 Sided Tardis, where our opinions are bigger on the inside.

Dr. Cid here, I'm gonna post this today, instead of my usual Monday update because I have an exam I have to study for. Anyways, it's time to dive right back into Final Fantasy X.

So, after Wakka rescues Aquaman from the big bad ocean, they fight another smaller boss monster and head to Kilika. Turns out the peaceful village of Kilika was wiped out by Sin, and now they're asking Yuna (in her role as Summoner) to send the spirits of the dead to the Farplane, so they won't become fiends.

So, the monsters that I've been beating up are...people? Okay, that's a new twist, and I kinda like it. I also, like Yuna acting as a priest, something that most adventuring White Mages and Clerics don't have to deal with a lot. And my own feelings toward organized religion aside, I like seeing these kinds of things. DMs, GMs and Storytellers take note: Sometimes being a Cleric means more than casting Cure Light Wounds and using Healing Word.

So, we get treated to what I feel is the MONEY SHOT FMV of the game. Yeah, there's some cool ones involving a Wedding and some underwater make-outs later, but this one is probably my favorite one of the game, and easily the most iconic of the universe they're setting up. The sending. You know what, I'm gonna let the cutscene speak for itself on this.



Now that you all know my pain on the voice acting in this thing...

Afterward, the crew heads up to the Kilika temple, and go through the Cloister of Trials to get Yuna her next Aeon, and we fight a Sin Spawn. Apparently, Sin (ever the fun guy), leaves bits of itself behind and if people don't kill them fast enough, he comes back and causes damage AGAIN! What a great world these people live in.

So, the village safe again, we head back to the boat (cue T-pain) and head off to Luca, where Yuna is certain someone'll recognize the time-lost Tidus.

You know, I cannot begin to describe how stupid this plan is.

"So, yeah, I'm from Troy."

"Like Troy, went to war with Greece over Helen, Troy?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"And you played Football there?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, so despite Troy being wiped off the map a thousand years ago, we're gonna take you to the Superbowl to see if anyone knows who you are."

Riiiight, this plan is right up there with "Get her!" This is why Ray doesn't make the plans, guys. So, Tidus begins going through his head what an amazing Blitzer his dad was, and Yuna keeps making googley eyes at Tidus, wanting him to be one of her bajillion guardians. Apparently, Jecht and Auron were her Dad's guardians, so I guess she's hoping bad ass runs in the family. No such luck here, sister.

So, Tidus battles some of his demons and unlocks the secrets of the Jecht Shot (a blitzball technique that's apparently bad ass).





The Sublimely Magnificent Jecht Shot Mark III. So Badassed, you're sexually aroused just seeing it.



Go him. Also, there's some stuff going on between Lulu and Wakka, most of it involving Wakka's brother Chappu.

God, who came up with these names?

So, we get to Luca and proceed to get the usual scenes of various dignitaries arriving at the festivities. Including...Seymour Guado.

Let me start off by saying this. Wakka, I'm sorry. When I called you "the most ridiculous looking character in all of Final Fantasy". Honestly, where do I begin with Seymour...




First off, that hair alone is not only the stuff of nightmares, but also the reason that 90% of Final Fantasy Cosplayers get made fun of on the internet. Somedays I'm convinced that Nomura is sitting at his drawing table, laughing at stupid cosplayers while adding more physics defying clothes and stupid hair.

Know what, the character designs in this game are just stupid in general. Let's just move on.

So, Tidus picks a fight with the local champion Blitzball team, the Luca Goers (no, seriously, who comes up with these names?!), and ends up on the Spira equivalent to the TV. Wakka gets Tidus under control and in the locker room, we go over the Blitzball Tutorials. Which are painful. Luckily Yuna arrives to save me (wow, those were words I never thought I'd type) telling me Auron is somewhere in Luca. Fuck yes! To hell with Wakka and his blitz game, I'm gonna find Auron and we're gonna go on badass adventures. Like so:






Yuna and Tidus have a scene that I'm sure'll come up later, hence me bringing it up. Afriad of getting separated, Tidus tries teaching Yuna to whistle, (apparently Whistling is also derived from Blitzball, did you know that?!), and explains that if they get separated, all she has to do is whistle and he'll come running.

Well, we get to the bar where someone saw Yuna and some Ronzo start picking a fight with Kimahri. I totally forgot he was even there. Well, Kimahri responds by punching a Ronso in the face so hard it knocks him out in one shot! Hell yeah, he may not talk much, but don't fuck with the furry, cause he will KICK YOUR ASS!!!

Well, while we're distracted with Kimahri finally doing something cool, Yuna was kidnapped by the Al-Bhed, who want the Aurochs to throw the Blitzball tournament, or they'll hurt Yuna. Since Wakka is busy playing, looks like it's up to Tidus, Scooby and Lulu to save the white mage.

So the three of us battle some machine robot things (which Lulu tells me are weak to lightning...as if I didn't know that already), and we proceed to the boat that the Al-Bhed hold our captive Summoner...who apparently freed herself and was in the process of escaping when we go there.

And at this point, I think I may be in love with Yuna. She's kind, she's sweet, cares for others...and when she gets captured, she'll crack skulls instead of waiting for me to do all the damn work. Sorry, Zelda, your knights in another castle.

Tidus inspects the ship, hoping that maybe these Al-Bhed are the ones who rescued him earlier in the game, but they're not. He also finds out that Yuna is Al-Bhed on her mother's side and is told not to tell Wakka.

So, The Aurochs win the first round of the Tournament, and Wakka seems beat. See, this whole rescue was inter cut with scenes of the match, and includes a bit of dialogue between Lulu and Tidus that is HILARIOUS out of context.

Tidus: Hey, Wakka's still in there!
Lulu: Chappu would still be standing after all that.
Tidus: Ouch.

So, the gang rejoin and Tidus goes in to the Blitzball match, and I have to say...I HATE this mini-game. Like I hate it more than I hate just about anything else.

See, I grew up with a brother, which means I've got plenty of Sports Video Games under my belt. So, the fact that the players move themselves, you don't control ANYTHING on Defense, and you can only pass and/or shoot whenever the game decides you can is RIDICULOUS. I've played FFX three times. And each time, I've had a different experience with this tournament. The first time was a close match, with me losing 2-3. The second time was a ridiculous affair where I won like 8-0, and this time through, I got into a place where I could shoot the ball twice. Neither went in.

Honestly, this is probably one of the biggest failings of FFX. The players move on a 2D field, when 3D would've been cooler and still within the systems limitations. I'm sorry, but when the Harry Potter Quidditch game on the GAMECUBE is more fun and a better made sports game than this, there's problems.




Seriously, this shouldn't be better than THIS:




















And I know, it's a MINI-game. It's supposed to be a side-thing. I get that. But at the same time, clearly it's the defining event in this world. Yuna even all but says that Blitzball is the only sport/hobby/recreational event in all of Spira (which is really fucking weird, but whatever). You'd think it be a better crafted min-game for clearly being that important to the game world.

God I hate this game. Thankfully, it asks me if I want to save, and I take this moment to end my misery, if only for a while.